Parshat Vayeitzeh - Pedagogy
by Rabbi Lobel

Eekeles the convert asked Rebbe Eliezer, if G-d “loves the convert and gives him bread and clothing” (Deuteronomy 10:18), why doesn't He help him grow spiritually as well?

Rebbe Eliezer replied that the answer lies in Jacob’s beseeching G-d for “bread to eat and clothing to wear.” (Genesis 28:20) Jacob was on his way to an uncertain future in Laban's house. Away from his natural environment, living among heathens, it would be difficult to maintain the Torah values and principles he received from his father, Isaac. As the Torah states, "An Aramean tried to destroy my father.” (Deuteronomy 26:5) Laban tricked Jacob into first marrying Leah and then changed their work agreements a hundred times over the next twenty years. Yet, Jacob never wavered in his standards and integrity. To grow spiritually, Jacob only asked G-d for “bread to eat and clothing to wear.”

This guaranteed livelihood that Jacob desired, a Jewish convert receives automatically to help him maintain the proper morals and standards of a Torah lifestyle. (Medrash Rabba 70:5 30 CE-200 CE; as explained by the Yefe Toar, 16 Century)

Like the convert asked Rebbe Eliezer, why didn’t Jacob ask for G-d’s help to grow spiritually? Because once a person is assured of sustenance, it is his responsibility to grow spiritually. Just as Jacob knew he was moving to a morally decadent village but couldn’t ask for G-d’s help to grow spiritually, neither can we. Spiritual growth is something we need to achieve and maintain on our own.

G-d may lead us to the proper environment and situations but the choices and the struggles to grow spiritually belong to each of us. Just as G-d guarantees a Jewish convert enough sustenance to maintain a Torah lifestyle but no more, neither can we. As role models, parents, educators, and spiritual leaders it is imperative to remember that we can only nurture, lead, and provide opportunity; we cannot impose or force our choices upon others.