Parshat Beha'alotcha - Pointing Fingers in the Face of Failure
by Rabbi Lobel

“Where shall I (Moses) get meat to give to this entire people ... I alone cannot carry this nation ... And if this is how You (G-d) are with me, then kill me now ... and let me not see my evil.” (Numbers 13-15)

The Children of Israel complained about the Manna and demanded more meat.

The Sforno explains Moses' statements:
* “I alone cannot carry this nation” and I need help from others
* “And if this how You (G-d) are with Me (Moses)”, and you refuse to lend me support because you are concerned My (Moses) honor will be hurt by sharing the leadership
* “Then kill Me now” so that You (G-d) may appoint others to lead Israel properly and I will not feel ashamed by sharing the leadership role
* “And let me not see my evil”, let me not stay alive and see others lead where I could not because that would be worse than death

According to the Sforno, Moses blamed his own shortcomings as the cause for Israel’s baseless complaints. The answer, then, was to appoint new leaders. However, G-d had not. Therefore, Moses said to G-d, if you’re trying to spare me the pain of losing my leadership and watching others succeed where I had failed, “then kill me now”.

But, if “Moses was exceedingly humble, more than any other person on the face of the earth!” (Numbers 12:3) why would he be hurt by sharing the leadership or seeing others do a better job?

The answer is that humility comes from recognizing one’s own shortcomings. Moses understood that, had he been a better leader, he may have been able to prevent the Jews from sinning. If anyone else could do a better job, Moses was prepared to relinquish his leadership.

Does that mean there’s no pain to see another succeed where you have failed, to lose your leadership role to a better person? Even the most humble man could feel the loss of leadership.

So great is the pain of failure that people are often quick to blame others before they blame themselves. Even Moses, “exceedingly humble,” felt the pain. The pain of failure can be worse than death. Yet, we need to learn from Moses’ example – examine our own shortcomings before others and be prepared to step down so that others can step forward.