Parshat Vayetzei - Proper Etiquette
by Rabbi Lobel

(Genesis; Chapter 29, Verse 9) “While he (Jacob) was still speaking with them (Shepherds of Charan), Rachel had come with her father's flock; she was a shepherdess.

Jacob had traveled all the way to Charan in search of a wife from his grandfather Abraham’s family. Without any money or possessions, Jacob rested at the town well where he inquired of the shepherds about Laban, son of Bethuel, son of Nachor, brother to Abraham. Sure enough, Laban's daughter, Rachel, was coming to the well to water her father's herd.

The Medrash Rabba (Vayeitzeh 70:9) comments:
“Come and see the difference between two separate towns. In a later time (in Midian), (Exodus 2:17) the shepherds wanted to act promiscuously with the seven daughters of Yisro, as the verse says, “and the shepherds came and chased them away.” However, here, one small girl came and not a soul touched her.” The Mahrzu explains, no one dared to touch Rachel “because Abraham lived in Charan and the people learned from him the proper fear of Heaven.”

The Medrash shows us the difference between the well of Midian and the well in Charan. When Moses fled from Egypt and came to Midian, he witnessed the shepherds of Midian publicly and shamelessly attempting to act promiscuously with women. In Midian, such conduct was normal. In Charan, such behavior was unfathomable. This was due to the fact that Charan was Abraham's old town; by simply living there, he influenced people how to act. Three generations later, the people of Charan were still influenced by Abraham’s nature.

The Midianites of today live in our towns but, through our actions and behavior, we not only impact the people around us but influence later generations as well. May we merit, as our forefather Abraham, to be a positive influence for our neighbors and their children’s children.